DG 網站誤導有 iphone 賣 — 澄清啟示文法不知所謂

在早前說了有關 iphone 的資料之後,發覺在 DG Lifestyle Store 網站上可以訂購,於是馬上 click 了兩部,雖然價錢未定,但都無蝕底,點都登記左先!

網站:http://www.designergroup.com.hk/newDG/home/home_hk.php

過了數個小時(我相信其間應該發生了點事),他們發了一個電郵給我,說要澄清他們沒有 iphone 賣。

這已令我奇怪,明明有得訂閱,model 我都揀左 16GB 白色,但過了數個小時竟然有此啟示,真是莫明奇妙。

我唔係好明佢地之前既 gesture 係乜意思,但可能中間有人(如和記,Apple)要他即時閉閉,而且要發出澄清啟示。

更奇怪既係,佢呢篇文章文法全部錯誤,我都唔係好明,只能就佢地既內文去估。

原文如下:

Dear Customer,

We would like to give our sincere thanks for all your support.

Recently we have find some misleading information on our website above the iPhone 3G, although we are as eager as you to sell the new iPhone 3G in Hong Kong, however, we are the same as you all, we have not receive information on the launching date of the iPhone 3G in Hong Kong as well the distribution channel in HK.

The main purpose of the iPhone page is to show the specification to our website visitors, so they have more ideas on the newly released iPhone 3G.

It purpose is to let our members to leave down the contacts, and their desired model so that we can understand them and serve them better.

We wish this will not mis-lead all users on DG Being a reseller on iPhone 3G.

Although Apple announced it will be available in Hong Kong on 11/Jul/2008. Pricing and buying details are not being announced yet. So stay tune on this page, and we will continue to share the latest information with our valuable customers.

Yours Sincerely,
DG LifeStyle Store

我唔明咁大間公司,點解寫幾段英文都寫到錯哂,我諗要俾蕭 Sir 睇過先得。

呢篇真係一篇好好既教材。我心諗:我睇風水紫微斗數都唔駛用英文啦,但我可以好肯定,要我寫,我一定寫得好佢好多。

等我講下佢呢篇澄清啟示有乜錯。

"We would like to give our sincere thanks for all your support."

"for all your support" 既 "all" 唔駛用,太過重覆,睇到都煩。語言行文就係要表達簡單,用 "for your support" 咪幾好。support 係無分 "痾" 同 "唔痾" 的。

"Recently we have find some misleading information on our website above the iPhone 3G, "

嘩有無攪錯呀, 小學三年班都知道係用 "have found" 呢個 present perfect tense 啦, 即係寫呢篇文既人, 小三程度都無.

第二, 用個 "above" 係咪有D病呢? 我睇左好奈, 都係唔明佢講乜, 拉尾估估下, 先知佢係想用 "about".

"although we are as eager as you to sell the new iPhone 3G in Hong Kong,"

"although" 點用細草? 前面應該係 full stop 然後用大草呀. 前文後理完全唔通順. 呢句係結構語病既問題, 無得改.

however, we are the same as you all, we have not receive information on the launching date of the iPhone 3G in Hong Kong as well the distribution channel in HK.

"however" 又係要用大草, 佢又前面整個 comma, 跟住又用細草.

"we have not receive information" 又係小學三年班既文法, 應該用 "we did not receive information"

其實咁都錯, "did not receive" 就即係無啦, 咁應該係 "we did not recieve any information".

"on the launching date of the iPhone 3G in Hong Kong as well the distribution channel in HK."

on 乜鬼? 應該係 receive any information about 呀!

至於 "as well the distribution channel in HK." , "as well" 我真係唔知佢想講乜, 如你知就話俾我聽啦! 我估佢係咪想用 "as well as" 呀, 意思都解得通既.

"It purpose is to let our members to leave down the contacts, and their desired model so that we can understand them and serve them better."

"It purpose" 係咪應該轉為 "It's purpose"?

"and" 前面唔使加 comma, 我從來唔會在連接詞之間加 comma 既.

其實呢句都唔係好通, 叫你訂購其實係要攞你電話同埋你鐘意既 model? 但到最後又無得訂購?

"We wish this will not mis-lead all users on DG Being a reseller on iPhone 3G."

個 "Being" 都唔知佢用黎做乜? 又要大草, 咁樣會巴閉D? 真係好港式英文.

全句改為:

"We wish this would not mislead all users that DG is a reseller of iPhone 3G"

係咪會好D?

我會將 will 改為 would, 因為時代已經唔同, 現代人講英文, 寫英文多數用 would.

"Although Apple announced it will be available in Hong Kong on 11/Jul/2008. Pricing and buying details are not being announced yet."

Pricing 又用乜大草? Although 後面梗係加 comma, 然後用細草啦!

"are not being announced yet" 呢舊我可以用屎來形容.

係咪想用 "have not been announced yet" 呀? 我覺得佢應該係想講 "還未公佈".

"So stay tune on this page, "

呢句又係無厘頭, 我真係唔明點樣 "stay tune on this page".

我覺得佢真係應該立即收起呢篇文, 我諗如果佢老闆有個仔, 讀緊小六而成績係中等既話, 應該都可以幫佢改好哂呢篇文.

其實係咪而家既英文程度真係差左呢? 呢D唔關乎文章深度既問題, 係基本文法同表達能力既問題, 所以雖然有好多人支持火星文, 我就覺得咁樣害左班學生.

講番呢單野, 我登記時佢地既意思真係有得訂購, 而唔係了解你既喜好喎, 佢呢次真係誤導得好緊要!

(後記:我睇睇下,呢篇文簡直可以用垃圾去形容,想改都無得改,我覺得佢應該重頭搵人再寫過。)

 

 

 

 


 

  • maggie表示:

    嘩…真係錯哂喎…好失禮!! 又"although"又"however",  又"let"又"to leave", 仲要"leave down"咁廣東話…so many grammatical mistakes….可以用嚟做試題考grammar….
    [版主回覆06/15/2008 19:01:00]妹妹, 我都覺得係, 本來我都好少講人地呢D野, 因為始終係人地既事. 但我真係睇唔過眼, 咁大間公司寫果幾隻字都寫到咁垃圾, 我真係好想同大家分享!

  • man fai表示:

    龍師傅第一次教英文。
    我諗呢間公司想同客人玩捉錯處……
    成篇文真係無幾句係岩……
     
    [版主回覆06/15/2008 19:03:00]阿輝, 英文真係唔係我第一語言, 香港人尚且覺得不知所謂, 我諗外國人睇到以為佢寫法文.

  • man fai表示:

    龍師傅,我對玄學一無所知,你建議我首先睇咩書先?
    [版主回覆06/15/2008 19:08:00]要看你想學甚麼, 你得閒可以到馬建記, 陳永泰睇下, 最緊要自己有興趣. 開頭看甚麼書都沒有所謂.

  • FreelineAsia表示:

    Mate, this is not the worse I've seen. I've kinda get used to it and sometimes spoke like this for other people to understand the english. At least the author took the courage and wrote the damn thing, I am sure his boss made him do this…
    [版主回覆06/15/2008 23:36:00]摸石過河, 係呀, 其實呢篇文章可以俾到我好大既想像空間, 因為可以解碼的線索太多了.
    我可以諗得到:
    – 佢老細可能做生意好叻, 但英文一定好屎. – 如果英文屎, 都唔係罪過, 但佢係想做外國人同高檔生意, 好應該搵個識英文既人黎做 marketing. – 佢呢次扮到有得認購應該係有D野, 真正內裏原因要再了解下.
    紙係包唔住火, 如果佢真係想走高檔路線, 一定要改善下, 我見到佢地在IFCII 有開新舖, 仲好靚, 賣既野好貴, 好多都係外國人, 如果想行呢條路, 真係要改好D英文.

  • 米雪兒表示:

    又話賣又唔賣....  神又佢鬼又佢....  乜呢間公司咁無誠意同埋誠信架!
    [版主回覆06/15/2008 23:37:00]米雪兒, 係呀, 其實我都唔知佢想點, 所以我都好有興趣了解下!

  • beanie338表示:

    原文一看便知是Chinglish,是典型用中文思考,然後在腦中翻譯為英文的一封信。先不談文法,整封信的內容很不容易理解。這些屬公關性質的商業書信,在網上有大量"罐頭"貨可供抄襲和刪改。這封信可絕對反映DG Life Style的員工質素。
    如果是我,我會這樣寫:
    Dear Customer, In response to the recent inquiries of the  "3G iphone", we would like to take this opportunity to clarify that DG Life Style, like as many of you, is looking forward the detail information regarding the availability of the "3G iphone" in Hong Kong. 
    The "iphone" page of our website has been updated with the images and specifications of  the "3G iphone". This is to allow our customers having an insight of it. While we ask our customers to leave their names, contacts and desired model, we do not mean to lead to a conception of DG Life Style being one of the "3G iphone" retailers.  Apple has already confirmed that the "3G iphone" will be officially released in Hong Kong on July 11, 2008. However we have no further detail of its pricing and associated service plans.
    We would like to ask all the interested parties to stay tuned for the latest information.
    Thanks for your support
    [版主回覆06/16/2008 01:16:00]嘩, Beaanie 兄, 我睇到你呢篇文章真係拍爛手掌, 英文就是這樣, 文字通暢, 簡單, 表達清楚, 易明, 看得很通順!
    想不到你也忍不到手呀? 我都係咁, 如果見到佢果D垃圾英文, 我真係好好火的, 因為我覺得人唔應該這樣, 呢個係關乎誠信既問題, 因為如果自己寫得唔好, 大把方法, 上網抄, 搵人寫都可以, 我自己以前做過唔少, 因為人地唔識英文既玄學專門名詞, 咪搵我咯.
    真係再叫一聲, 好!!!! 大快人心!

  • beanie338表示:

    龍師傅,這類商業書信,看得多自然懂,我不是專業寫手,只是在加拿大生活多年,年中收過不少這些書信了。沒甚麼了不起。
    [版主回覆06/16/2008 08:21:00]Beanie, 和你看法完全相同,我們都不是專業寫公務書信的人,不過這些英文也實在太過離譜了!

  • beanie338表示:

    在香港,垃圾英文和中文隨處可見,早已見怪不怪了。愚見以為,香港的英語教育只看重文法而忽略修辭和文采是一大敗筆。至於原文,連文法也不合格。
    [版主回覆06/16/2008 08:22:00]Beanie, 是的,我也不需要他們有好的文采,不過連基本文法也錯誤,狗屁不通,實在太過份了!

  • Master Pak表示:

    雖然如網友所言,呢D英文句子在港周時見怪不怪,再怪都重有,但如果係代表著一間大公司就唔係咁好了。呢類商業通告,除了文法一定要沒錯之外,customer services同marketing style 既語氣寫法係好重要,呢個先係真正專業與不專業之分。 見議用呀豆果篇送俾佢地做template啦。。。lol
    [版主回覆06/19/2008 00:04:00]秋雲兄, 係, 越說越激動, 本來學生我都要成手冊大力掟番俾佢, 而家佢咁大個網站, 真係有無攪錯 , 請D咁野, 真係有機會再了解下先得.

  • ChanTim表示:

    你好,請多多指教
    [版主回覆11/26/2008 22:41:00]GPS Foodeasy, 你好, 多謝你的提供!

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